When I chose his name I had no idea what I was in for. Aidan means "little fire or firey one". And he sure did come into the world like a ball of fire.He screamed for the first six months of his life. I remember the second night in the hospital trying to get some rest and Aidan was screaming so loud the nurses could hear him down the hall with the door closed. Now mind you babies are not supposed to cry too much in their first few days of life. That's when it all started. Months of sleepless nights. Days filled with giggling him in his snuggie to try and quiet him down. We tried everything from switching him to soy formula to gas drops. Nothing worked. We were also told by our numerous frantic calls to our pediatrician that colic does not last much past 3 months. Not Aidan, six months is when it finally slowed down.
He has always had his own opinion, his own rules. Some may think of this as spoiled but he is just his own person. It wasn't until about a year ago that we actually started to worry about him. He became very aggitated and upset with himself. He would be easily embarassed by things that most kids would care less about. He would not wear shorts EVER even if it was 100 degrees out. He never wanted to wear collared shirts. His teachers would say that he often looked confused or close to tears in class. One of the teachers told me he makes an "old man face". He would come home from school and break into fits of rage and crying. He would also keep repeating the phrase " I hate myself, no one likes me". We soon realized that Aidan's behavior could not longer be explained away by simply saying " He's just a different type of kid" You can not fathim what it is like to not be able to help your child with his frustrations.We took Aidan to a child Phsycologist and she diagnosed him with an anxiety disorder.
For those of you that know me know that my father suffers from Agoraphobia or fear of large crowds and people and general anxiety problems, which made him a very angry person.. This was a very difficult situation for me as a child. My father was always upset and would scream and yell at us. He scared the crap out of me as a child. There are numerous times where I remember being cornered by him and pushed and screamed at until he was out of breath. Having my child diagnosed with a similar disorder left me uneasy and distressed. I spent many weeks crying myself to sleep. But good news was we knew what it was. I am a huge advocate for medication. I have seen the differences between my father medicated and my father not. We started Aidan on Prozac ( after weeks of advocating for his best interest to his pediatrician). He has been on Prozac for six months now and I am very impressed with the results. He is a happy kid who loves himself now. He wears shorts all the time, feels great about himself and even seems to extend more kindness to youger children.
Aidan has given me many things to worry about, the time he walked home from Kindergarden because he didn't know who the substitute teacher was, and many things to be proud of, his generosity and ability to laugh and make others laugh. I am so thankful for my wonderful child and look forward to what his life will become.
